Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Paradise Island and the Pristine Beaches...

You might know that I have an undying love for beaches. The buzz, the smell, the colors, everything about them fills me with pleasure. There's nothing like a long walk on a lovely beach...

Here are some of the lovely scenes I captured when I was in Galle and Koggala last weekend.

Paradise indeed!








































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Monday, December 29, 2008

Eye Test

I'm on vacation, and not really in a mood for long posts. Still I have my duty to fulfill. To keep blogging. For the couple of readers I have. Ha!

So I found a short cut, an easy way out.

Pictures.

They speak a thousand words, indeed!

So, this is the new and improved EYE TEST for the year 2009.
Check how good your eyesight is!



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Thursday, December 25, 2008

It's FUNTIME!!!

Not because it's Christmas, but because I'm here.

Home.

The Land Like No Other!

Whoooooopsy!!!

OK calm down tom, relax.

I really am having one hell of a time, and don't even know what's been going on in the blogsphere lately. Yes, my fellow bloggers, I am sorry, I should be feeling ashamed. I know. But maaaan, who wants to blog on vacations? It is a business that is supposed to be done on work hours.

So... the flight home was pretty much uneventful and goddamn tiring. I thought Sri Lankan private buses were better. I couldn't even stretch my legs. Jeez... was so glad to be out of it after more than nine hours of flying. I had asked some of my best friends to come and pick me up, but the buggers turned up in a car instead of a van. I had a TV with me, so in the end had to open the box and load the thing into the car without the box, in front of everyone. Must have been a pretty funny sight I guess.

Then ate a "Sri Lankan Chinese Rice" on the way home. Oh how good it was. And some Aappa as well. And the bill was like little over 400 bucks for four of us. After spending more than that for every shit meal I buy in Japan, this felt like heaven! LOL...

Since then, lots of love from mom, getting treated like never before (HA!) and all the attention. Bad part is, I still didn't get a good enough sleep. But it's all worth it. Met a lot of old friends, had a beer or two and lots of catching up...

And I'll be away from blogging for another few days, cos I'll be going down south with my best friends. Just hang around there and chill. And booze time of course - according to the normal definition as well as LD's definition.

Jeez... I've been writing this post for like an hour now - writing this and chatting with Milla. Apologies guys, if this post is all a bit weird. Blame her. Not me.

So... a very very Happy Christmas for all you people!

ENJOY!

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Friday, December 19, 2008

Piano Man and The Land Like No Other

I'm not a big music fan.

Yes I do listen to my songs, not my songs but the ones I like, and there are a quite a few that I like. But I'm not as such follow music, don't have a favorite singer or a band, neither there is a favorite type of music. I just happen to listen to all kinds of stuff - Sinhala, English, Hindi, Tamil or even Japanese sometimes. Just whatever that I feel good about.

Until very recently, I was unaware of the existence of a guy named Billy Joel. Neither was this song called 'Piano Man'. Recently, at a booze session, somebody (thanks Solomon) introduced me him and this song. Introduce not in the sense face to face, but you know what I mean.

And I fell in LOVE with that song. There's something about it that's very special. I don't know what it is really, it's just... like somebody switched on a switch in my brain and then removed the switch.

Cos I can't get it out of my head now.

So here goes fellas, just listen to it and tell me if you too enjoy it.

(This is not the original video. The original vid on YouTube is protected from embedding, so I had to use this one. If you YouTube 'Piano Man' you'd find the original, which is a nice video)


Then, I'm returning to The Land Like No Other, from The Land of the Rising Sun, tomorrow!
And I can't wait!!!

So, catch you guys (and girls too, of course) in a couple of days!

I'm off.

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Sri Lankanisms...

Hi ayya!

Hey.... nanga... how're you?

FINE!
Sooooooo.... you're coming on Saturday no?

No I cancelled the flight.

You did?

Yes.

Really?

No.

Modaya. I can't waaaaaaiiitttt.......

Hey, that should be my line. I'm the one who's supposed to be impatient.

I know. But still...
Hey you come to see me the first thing?

What? At midnight? You crazy?

OK well right.
Hey packed your luggage and all?

Yeah.

What did you get for me?

Nothing.

Hmph.
It's OK ayya... you're coming na... that's all I want.

Oh really? Good, I was gonna buy you an iPod tomorrow. I won't have to then...

Oh! What were you gonna get? Nano? iTouch?

Doesn't matter ne... you don't want it right?

Anaaaaaaa...... pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaasssssseeeeeeeee.....................

OK OK matti...

Hey, did you get the e-ticket printed? Don't forget OK...

No I have a portable printer with Internet connection. Will get it done at the airport.

Don't joke ane... seriously...
And don't forget the passport too.

No it doesn't matter. I come by my private Jet. It won't be necessary.

You jerk. Shut up!
...
...
...
...

Hello? Ayya?
Helloooooooo.......

I thought you told me to shut up?

*Sigh* (from the other end)
OK OK just be careful OK... And call me when you come.
Oh call me before you check-in as well.
Don't forget passport and all.
If there's anything... call K at the airport... I told her that

NANGA!

What?

Enough.
I have been on a plane before. I know my way around. Thanks.
And if I call K I'm gonna ask her out too.

Hahhahaaa... don't bother... she won't come...
OK OK then...
Byeeeeeeeeee
Love you!

Bye...
Love you too...



Man... these younger sisters, Sri Lankan ones, can be a real pain in the ass sometimes... LOL...
By the way, she's not really my own sis, rather my x-girlfriend's sister. But she's like my own to me.
Love you nanga...


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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Can someone fast forward...

... time.

Four days.

I want it to be Saturday, right now.
And be back home.

Please, someone put me out of this misery and get me through these four days ASAP.

I can't wait!

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Monday, December 15, 2008

The Lord Speaks

"If I feel like hit it, I hit it. Doesn't matter if the ball is good or bad"

-Virendra Sehwag at the post match presentation after his breathtaking knock.


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Sunday, December 14, 2008

The teacher you dream of!

He was the teacher that every student dreams of having, but doesn't ever get in real life.
And to think that we actually had such a guy (sir, when I say guy, it means a whole lot of affection and respect, not a single bit of disrespect) as a teacher!

Let's call him U.
Not like you U, but U the letter. I don't really like to use u for you or cm for come (some people even use cum. ha!) but that's a totally different post which I might do a little later. So he's U.

U was our Mathematics teacher as well as the class teacher in our A/L class, back in 99/2000. I went to this Catholic school in Kandy which was run by a priest (a 'father') and everyone - and I mean everyone - hated the guy. Here, the use of guy means the complete opposite of what I had to say about U above. To our much delight, U hated him as much and better yet, didn't give a rat's ass about him or his authority. Do I need to say anymore why we loved him so much? Not everyone gets a teacher that cool.

Stories of U #1
His nick name was "Glacier". Know why? He was such a lazy ass and the usual word "ice" wasn't enough for him. He would read a newspaper or even doze off in the class if he didn't feel like teaching. But this doesn't mean he neglected his duties, no. U always finished the syllabus, he just was so relaxed and cool. And to elaborate the point, when he writes on the blackboard, he'd use his free hand to support the writing hand. Even holding his writing hand up to the blackboard was a pain for him. Is there any better name than Glacier?


Stories of U #2
Sometimes we had our lectures in laboratories. And in them, there are no single desks but long tables. So, while U was teaching we (we means my 'gang' who virtually used to run the class) would usually sit in two rows around the table, one facing him and one with our backs to him. And U didn't ever care. He didn't run after students bitching about us not studying, ever. His motto was I teach, learn if you want. We didn't complain. So while we were in the class, we'd eat, play some games or just have a chat and occasionally do some studies.

Our principal (let's call him P) had a habit of going around the blocks ones or twice a day, visiting the classrooms. So this day we were just having fun in the classroom, and U was also reading a newspaper or something.

Suddenly he calls us.
"Oi, poddak issarahata harenawa, anna ara miniha me paththata enawa"
(Guys, turn this way for a min, that jerk's coming this way)
"Sir?"
"P enawa, poddak issarahata harenawa"
(P is coming, turn this way)
"OK sir..."

So his majesty P arrives. And sees U and us doing nothing.
He goes,
"Sir, lamai mokuth karanne na wage neda?" A hint of sarcasm.
(Sir, students seems to be doing nothing?)
"Eka thamai father mamath me baluwe"
(I wondered the same thing, father)

P turned on his heels right there and went away.


Stories of U #3
My father was a teacher in my college. And to make things worst, he was also the assistant discipline master. Which means not only you have to watch your back whenever you do something out of line, but you also have to think about your old man's honour. Sucks, I tell you.

While in A/L class, we used to skip classes and go out of the school whenever we felt like. There were lot of things to do. A famous movie theatre was near the college, so it was always an option. We had a guy who's house was just five minutes from school and at his place there was a PC, a VHS, A VCD player (remember, this was a time when those items were still luxuries - not many people owned a PC back then) and even a pool table. It was a no brainer choosing between them and a couple of hours in class.

The security guard at the gate was cool with us as long as we bribed him with a couple of cigarettes. Only matter was we needed someone to watch our backs in case P decided to show up while we were attending to our business. That's where U came in. We usually informed him before going out.

"Sir, api poddak eliyata yanawa"
(Sir, we'll going out for a while)
"Oh OK sure" He didn't ever bothered to ask where.

And right when we turn to go, he calls me back.
"Oi me, ona thanaka yanawa, habai thatha awith ahuwoth nam mata karanna deyak na"
(Go wherever you want, but if you dad shows up, sorry son)
"Oh, OK sir..."


Stories of U #4
His exams were damn tough. And he knew we were helpless.
So, during the term tests, U never bothered to see if we copied and prevent it. He'd just sit there and read something, doze off or even go out to canteen to get something to eat.
So when we exchange our answer sheets and he sees us,

"Ha ha copy karala liyanawako puluwannam"
(Copy all you want and answer if you can)

We duly obliged.
And the highest marks of the class was something like 60.


Stories of U #5
In a holiday period, I think it was the August holidays, we went to the above mentioned movie theatre. The movie was an 'adults only', and we were 18, so I suppose things were cool. We sat in the balcony and some people behind us calls us. It was the Arts class' guys of our batch. And they were silently pointing to a corner of the hall. We slowly turned, and to our horror, there was U, coolly reading a newspaper until the movies starts.
He even waved at us.
We couldn't tell who was more embarrassed, but I guess it was us.


Long live sir!


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Friday, December 12, 2008

My little beauty...



Sorry Milla, I'll buy you one next time.
;-)


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So, this is Christmas!

So I've been tagged by LadyDivine. In fact this is the first time somebody tagged me, so a big thanks LD!


What have I done this year...

Moved to Japan.

Taught myself to cook, and lived to tell the tale after eating them.

Endured the pain of the death of my love.

Seen a 'just friend' turn into one of the best, which I'm ever so glad for.

Failed to understand some others, and kept getting hurt.

Bungee Jumped.

Eaten a Snail, and actually liked it.

Been to the highest point of Japan, a staggering 3776 meters from sea level - the top of Mt. Fuji.

Felt so lonely. Really really lonely.

Started blogging. And felt so comfortable doing it. Not to mention the joy of it.

Made some friends online, most of whom I haven't even seen.

Seen my favorite author die.

Seen my cat die, at the age of 18. Loved her so much.

Changed. A lot. In a way I thought I never would.

Bought an iTouch, only last night. :)


Hmm... so not bad. When I went through it a second time, it seemd a great mixture of real extremes. And I'm still alive after all that. Also seems it's an year of death.

Wish the next one will be better...


And here I tag Sabby, Serendib_Isle, Pradeep and Sach.


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Thursday, December 11, 2008

The marvel that is Bata

I was going to say Rubber Slippers, but decided not to. It doesn't nearly have the effect as much as it does when you say Bata. A pair of rubber slippers is not a pair of rubber slippers for us, but a pair of Bata, ain't it? Oh, the SriLankanism!

So... where do I begin?
OK, let me put it this way.
It is the greatest footwear invention in the history of mankind, and will remain so until either the world runs out of rubber or we humankind perish. Maybe they'll remain even after we are doomed. If ever aliens happen to pay us a visit, I'm sure this will be something they'll be taking back with them, among other things. Thus, Bata could end up being one of the very few truly universal products. You never know.

It is truly a wonderful product, and you've got to give it to it's simplicity. A piece of rubber attached to a couple of straps. It can't get any simpler than that, can it? Yet it is so efficient, convenient and use any other word you like here that would say something good about it. I couldn't think of any at the moment.

Specially in a place like Sri Lanka, it is nothing but a god sent thing. In a burning hot day, it keeps your feet cool. In a rainy day, all you have to do is fold your denim a couple of times. Notice the use of the word 'denim' here. There is no other pant goes as nearly well as a denim does with them. Throw in a T-Shirt to the mix and you're good to go - anywhere. Age, race and gender doesn't matter. Five year old kids and 80 year old fellas, not to mention everyone in between can be seen basked in the glory of this marvel. Sinhalese, Tamils, Muslims and even the Askimos reportadly have been wearing them. Guys and girls - and whomever else as well - they all use them.

Honestly, I've fallen in love with them a long time ago, and could never let go to this day. For the most part of my university life, it was a part of my uniform, which consisted of a further denim and a T-Shirt, preferably. And even after that, whenever possible - and I mean it - I always wore them. How can I not?

Bata Story #1
The biggest fan of them all. Even though I'm so fond of them, I wouldn't dare to claim the 'Most-ardent-fan-of-Bata' title. It belongs to one guy and him alone. Let's call him S. He was a batch mate at the uni, and wore Bata for the whole duration of his university life bar one day. And it was reported that there was a minor earthquake around Kandy area the day S decided to wear a pair of shoes instead of his trusted soul mates, so he assured us that he would never ever do that again. And I believe him. There weren't any earthquakes after that. S even wore them to his convocation. True story.

Bata Story #2
Now it's my turn. It was back in the uni days. I was on my way to the university in a ragged denim, messed up T-Shirt and my trusted pair of Bata. In my last year there, I never really attended any lectures, so there was no real need to be bothered with notes and all that. I was in this private bus which was crowded to the point of exploding, as the norm in Sri Lanka as you all know only too well. You know that the conductors don't ever allow you to go on the foot-board however crowded the bus is, but the guy was friends with me and he didn't mind me being there. Now, this conductor guy (henceforth referred to as C) was quite a fashionable fella. He always wore pretty 'fancy' stuff and wore them well. That day, he was in one of those pants where you have like 150 pockets, quite a classy shirt and a pair of sports shoes (or decks as we call them in Sri Lanka). Oh and a reggae style cap too. Compare that with my standard gear. You know what I'm getting at.

So, after a couple of minutes the bus had to stop because there was a railway crossing and the gate was closed. Now I and C were on the foot board while the bus was waiting for the train to pass. It was taking a bit of time, and one of the 'aunties' in the bus decided to walk the remaining distance so she got off the bus and..... gave me a Rs.10 note.

"Err... what?" I asked.

"Salli ganna putha, mama ithuru tika payin yanawa"
(Please take the money son, I'll be walking the distance)

I was like what the hell for a split second, then I realized.
Obviously it was me who looked like the conductor, not C. There was really no point trying to explain her the situation, especially with a bus load of gorgeous ladies, some of whom I knew. Explaining it means attracting more attention. So I accepted the money and gave her the Rs.3 balance, resolving the matter calmly.

And all this time that bastard C was sniggering behind me. So when I arrived at my destination, I paid him only my fee and kept what my pair of Bata earned for me.

Bata Story #3
This time it's my ex-girlfriend. I don't think I'd ever seen a better fashion-killer than she was. You know the type, who just wears whatever they feel like without a care in the world. She was like that. And she shared a great love for Batas with me. Combination of the two (not I and her, but fashion-killer who loves Bata) is always a recipe for disaster. Trust me. We shared another thing. Oh we shared a lot of things. But what I mean is, she hated those family-weddings even more than I did. You know those weddings of your parents' friends' son's or daughter's weddings? That kind of thing. Most of the time, you're lucky to find one guy or a chick you know there, you've got to stay with your parents and be a display on a showcase for their friends. And answer the standard set of questions again and again and again.

Exhibit:

"What do yo do these days?"
"Study. University"
"Oh that's great. Where?"
"Peradeniya"
"Really? Engineering I suppose?"
"No. Mathematics"
"Hmm... what kind of career opportunities you have, in that field?"

Compared to that, Sirasa Ran Depaya is gold!

Anyway, this day she was attending such a wedding but obviously got bored probably within five minutes entering the hotel. So she called me.

"Sach, can you be there at XXX in half an hour?" A place we used to meet regularly.

"Err... but aren't you supposed to be in a wedding?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean"

"What do you mean that's what you mean?"

"Sach..."

And I knew that tone. It means the red light is on. It means that danger is loominig. It means you need to answer without further questions.

"OK, fine, 3o minutes then"

So I was there in like 25 minutes - I was never late for appointments, but not because I was afraid of her or anything, I assure you - and waiting for her. Then a sexy black Mercedes pulled in front of me, and the gorgeous lady stepped out. Now, can you picture those kinds of scenes from Hollywood movies? The car pulls in front of you, a jaw-dropping hot chick gets out and the camera spans from her top to bottom. That kind of scene. So there she was with this lovely and newly done hair, probably for the wedding itself, beautiful hanging earrings (I always loved to see her wearing them), a blood red gorgeous wedding dress and...

Wait.

Have you heard that tire screeching sound that is sometimes used in comedies etc? The one that they use in a situation like this, to interrupt the flow of a scene? So, if you have, imagine that. If you haven't, imagine something. Either way, you need to put a sound like that here.

Because after all those lovely matching stuff, she was wearing a pair of Bata.

"N (let's call her that), what the hell?"

"What?"

"Since when did that fashion become popular in weddings? I didn't know. Or are you trying to set a trend?"

"Oh no no darling, I wasn't wearing this to the wedding"

"I can tell. You're still alive"

"Na aney... you know how much I hate those high heels. I managed to steal the car keys from dad, he doesn't know I got out. And there was this pair inside the car. Sooooo..... it's OK ne aney... we have until 3p.m. Let's go somewhere shall we? Pleeeeease?"

When she use that tone, it's really hard to say no. I usually melts at that one. And she knew that.

So off we went to Crescat first. In no time, we started to attract odd looks though. Hand in hand, we must have looked a very odd couple to be honest. I was dressed in a short that day, (no need to mention what the footwear was) and N in a wedding dress and a pair of Bata. Not a sight you'd see everyday.

Oh and I managed to send her back in time to the hotel, with the heels back on of course.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

NEVER take your cell phone to a men's room

I paid severely for this grave mistake today.

Let me elaborate.
My workplace changed a couple of weeks ago, and the new one is like a little over an hour away from my apartment. Which means, I have to get up an hour or so earlier than I was used to in the last few months. That in itself is a topic for a post of it's own rights where I can use all the four letter words in the dictionary and few more which I made to be used in times of need. So getting back to the point, despite three alarms, each of which five minutes apart, I woke up late.

You need to make quick decisions in a crisis like this. And I'm good at that. Even if I say it, still it's true. Ask anyone who knows me. So, take a piss, yes. Brush your teeth, yes. Shower, no. It's too cold out there anyway so you are likely to sweat here as much as it is likely to snow there in Colombo. A poo? Well I can hold on for a couple of hours.

So the decisions were made, actions were taken and I was in front of my screen in time.

After a hasty breakfast - hot cakes and coffee from McDonalds. Have you tasted it? Really good, trust me - you feel the need, err, to let go of the 'load'. Off I went to the men's room, and picked my favorite corner toilet. Oh I like that one so much. You can find complete solitary in it, without a care in the world and go on about your business. There was a Jap in the adjacent one - hey, I didn't peek into it you dirty bastards if that's what you thought. There are only two of us Sri Lankans work here and the other guy was in his seat, so it had to be a Jap - but who cares really? As far as I'm aware, there is no way to distinguish the nationality of someone merely by the sound of a fart, so I was happily doing it (farting I mean, not distinguishing them) while basking in my solitary glory. Well maybe RD is researching on that at the moment, "how to tell the nationality of a person by the sound of farts", something like that. You know it's his kind of thing, but until he publish his papers, and somebody translate them into Japanese, I was safe. Or so I thought.

Then the disaster struck.

My phone rang.
Here I was faced with a serious problem needing a quick solution, a correct solution, or risk facing an embarrassment that would last for the rest of my time here. Yes I told you I was good at making quick decisions and all, but we mortals do have limits don't we. Answering the phone means revealing your identity - whatever language I speak.
Sinhala - a dead end.
English - not many Japs speak it much anyway, and even when they do you could tell the difference within a couple of nanoseconds. Maybe even less.
Japanese - still a dead end. I pretty much suck at it so again the difference is obvious.

You might say, "What's the big deal Sach, you could have turned it off and called back later."

Well, I would have if this was anything but what it was. You might know that I'll be going back home for a small vacation in a couple of weeks. I had already reserved a seat in the flight to Colombo, but because of an uncertainty about the length of the stay, hadn't reserved a seat in the return flight so far. Finally got the matter resolved, leaves approved and reserved it a couple of days ago. Then, unfortunately - or rather fortunately as it lengthened my stay in Sri Lanka by another couple of days - had to change it again. Thus I called the airline guys and inquired whether I could change it again. They said they'll look into it but don't get my hopes up because the flight that I want now might already be full as this is one of the busiest seasons of the year. But I already had gotten my hopes up with the prospect of two more days in SL.

Anyway, it was them that was calling and I was not going to miss it for the love of my life. Who knows, maybe during the five minutes I'd take to call back the only seat that was remaining - just an assumption - might have been taken. Or the chick at the reservation counter might have had a really bad last night with her hubby/boyfriend/stranger or whoever else you want to substitute there, and could decide to take it on me. You never know with these girls.

So I decided to take no chance. Even at the prospect of total embarrassment. I'm a brave man you know.

It turned out that either no one had wanted the only seat or the chick had had a pleasurable night, so she broke me the glorious news that a seat was available.

At least that was something. Otherwise all this would have been for nothing.

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

You never know when you might get horny!

An educational post then.
It is my responsibility to educate and enlighten my fellow bloggers and the millions of readers I have, and I have no intention whatsoever to neglect my duties.

Fear not people, it's not sex that is unsafe, just if you're unprotected. Remember, you never know when you might get horny, so wear protection and all will be fine.

I was supposed to post this on the 1st of December, the World AIDS Day, but never mind it's better late than never.
Happy Sex Lives Fellas!

P.S. Somebody said I might be too late already, just hope it's not the case. ;-)




















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Monday, December 8, 2008

I went shopping for relatives!

And I mean the English meaning. You know that sentence has two different meanings in English and Sinhala right? In English, it means what it means. And in Sinhala it means, well, 'kade yaama' you know...

So it's the first one.

I know that most of you, if not all have an FB account. Is anybody a member of that awesome group called No Bitch...I aint Indian...I'm SRI LANKAN!!!!? You can assume what it is about I guess, and specially the people who live abroad know all about what it means, I'm sure of that. Here is the link.

Anyway, what I was coming to was, in the group description there is a long list starting with the words You Know you are Sri Lankan when.... And there is one entry goes like You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.

Ain't that so true?

The thing is, I'll be returning to Sri Lanka for a three weeks holiday (*YEY YEY YEY!! WHOOOOOOPPPSYYYY!!! LALALALAA*) in a couple of weeks and I have as many relatives if not more. And since relatives are what they are - relatives, (umm... I hope none of them are reading this...) you can't really afford to miss anyone, can you? If you do, it has dire consequences trust me. It's even worse than forgetting your girlfriend's birthday.

So I was facing a problem with wanting to get something for everyone and yet keep some money in my pocket so, you know, I could spend my holidays in SL without asking for any money from my mom. I carefully weighed my options. Being the cunning bastard I am, I found a solution that only a genius would. Oh maybe not, but still it was a pretty good idea. There is something called 100 Yen Shops here in Japan. I think they are called Dollar Stores or something in US. So if you're not a genius, let me explain. Anything - yes anything - that's sold there is just 100 bucks. And you can find almost anything there as well. From toys to exercise books or pens, spoons, knives, ornaments, whatever. You name it they have it. Add to that the fact that the shop I went to is the biggest such shop in Japan. It has five stories and absolutely everything. And when you look at those stuff, there is no real way you could tell that they are cheap. See, I'm good, ain't I? Oh you could tell the difference if you have ever been to Japan, but there is only one person in my family have been to Japan before and he's in Italy now. So, unless any relative of mine comes across this post, I should be safe.

Besides, it's not the value of the present, but the idea that you're giving a present is what is worth, isn't it?

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Friday, December 5, 2008

I'm going to set a new record. Please help me avoid it!

I've got to sit for an exam on Sunday.
We can all agree - unanimously - that exams are useless and a waste of time, money, energy and everything else one could ever imagine, right? But still I can live with that, if this were anything but what it is. I'd rather sit for a PhD in Astronomy exam than this, cos this is a Japanese Language Exam.

Shit.

I really suck at Japanese. Maybe I can speak fairly OK - not great, but I can manage - but reading and writing, now that's a different story. Why, do you think?

Let me take a few minutes to tell you a few things about Japanese.

To begin with, they have three alphabets. Yes, THREE. One is a normal alphabet, like in any other language. Second, well I'll explain in a minute. And the third is so called Kanji, and nobody really knows how many of them are there.

How stupid is that?

Now, this first alphabet which is called Hiragana is quite like any other, maybe not as efficient as Sinhalese, but I can live with that. The second is Katakana, which is used to write the words that Japanese has taken from other foreign languages such as English (mostly), French, German etc. Why, I do not know. Those words can be written in Hiragana without any hassle, but they chose to have another alphabet. OK, I can bear that too. The real pain is Kanji. Now this is where things go really out of control. As I said before, nobody really knows how many Kanji are there but it is estimated to be somewhere around 50,000. Oh yeah you read it correct and no, I didn't add a zero or two accidentally. It is fifty thousand.

The irony of it is that with three alphabets and over 50,000 letters, still there are some words they can't write.
Would you believe that?

There is no L, T or D in Japanese. And no ඇ, මැ, කැ etc either. They are turned into අ, ම, ක etc.
L is replaced by R.
T is by ත.
And D is replaced by ද.
So, Tokyo should be pronounced as තෝක්යෝ, not ටෝකියෝ as many of you would do.

You think it can't get worse than that? Hang on, I only just begun.

Now a bit more about this Kanji. They were inherited from Chinese and are primarily 'word-art'. That is, pictures turned into letters which has evolved later into what it is now. All's well except for the small matter that there could be hundreds of different Kanji with the exact same pronunciation, but carrying different meanings! For example, the sound 'ක' could probably be the most common of them all. There are hundreds, if not more different Kanji that are pronounced that. Just imagine, having to remember all that!
OK, I don't need to remember all that - for this exam I need about 300 - but still it's a lot of remembering do to. And my memory being what it is - only this morning, while making my coffee, the small milk packets that you're supposed to add to your coffee, I opened one and poured the whole thing into the coffee bag instead of the cup - I'm facing a huge uphill task, if not impossible.

So let's get back to the topic.
The record is, everyone who works here with me - that is to say all the Sri Lankans - take that exam every year and nobody had failed thus far. And I can see myself going down the history books as the owner of that unbreakable record. And see, the point is, being the first means nobody can 'challenge' your spot. I'm going go be a celebrity!

Gee I can live without that.

So guys - and girls - help me avoid that and wish me some luck.
I'm going to need it.

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Thursday, December 4, 2008

no more f-word...

somebody said i use it too much
in my posts
and that i really dont need to
that id do fine without it
when i come to think about it
seems thats right
overusin it kills the effect
so im not gonna use it
for a full month
startin from today
tho i might miss it
no F word anymore
a CLEAN blog after all
thanks solomon!

PS :
this post is written in milla style
shes a friend
a good one
and she writes like this all the time
the 'g's at the end of words are missin
jus like that
no capitalization
no apostrophe
though is tho
and just is jus
short lines
but when u read it
feels like its a poem
not a rhymin one
but still...
cheers chickey!

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I miss being myself

I used to be the fun type.
I loved a laugh all the time. I did laugh a lot and I used to make others laugh. People liked me - well, at least most of them did - they liked being around me, hanging out with me. I used to live a carefree life. You know, without a care in the world... Oh maybe I did care, but you know what I mean. In short, I never really had a long face.

And now I've become a useless brat.

I don't laugh much anymore. Even when I do, that's not really from the bottom of my heart. People don't like being with me anymore. I can sense that. I can feel that. I'm not fun to be with anymore. I'm a pain in the ass for them. I'm a burden and they have to put up with me. I know that you bastards. And I hate being this way more than anybody else.

I just miss being myself...


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This is creepy!

It's a pretty wide world we live in, ain't it?



Hmm... maybe not that wide, but still it's something...



OK, now this is depressing...



And it gets worse...



That's enough! Forget it!



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