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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

How To Deal With Keyboard Warriors

If you're a blogger, the chances are that you know one or two of them. If you have ever been on an internet forum for long enough, again you should have encountered a couple of them. If you're neither, still it is very likely that you're in FB, and that you know them. The thing with them is they're not trolls, but quite happy (if they could ever be happy that is) to bash everyone around them, have a bitch fit when someone has a different view to that of theirs and quite fond of using the words "fuck off" as an escape route. However, it is important that you know how to deal with them and even have fun with them. Here's how.

Maintain your cool at all times
The whole point of dealing with them is not to get pissed but to make them pissed. You getting angry is like pouring oil to the fire, and chances are that you might end up being one. So, be cool.

Do not get offended
It is very likely you get all kinds of insults thrown at you including racist and sexist remarks. Usually they may question your sexual orientation, or your ability to engage in any such acts, your mother's profession and/or character, the fact that whether the one that's married to your mother is indeed your father, your mental stability and any other such things. They usually question all those, and are quick to label you. But DO NOT get offended for they are just words, probably of someone belongs to one or more categories mentioned above.

Talk sense
They may talk all the nonsense in the world and some more, but you should not. If you do, what's the difference? Always reply with cohesive arguments. Usually these guys talk crap and when they are in trouble just throw insults everywhere and try to get out of the mess that they created. Don't let them.

Find a weak point
They always have one. Usually more, so don't let them slip. The standard prototype of these people are they try to portrait them as radical free-thinkers who can tolerate an argument. They are not, though. Their interpretation of being radical is questioning, no strike that off, bashing any standard or accepted practice/method/way of life just for the sake of it. Without any solid arguments too. They call them free thinkers, but the moment someone has got a different view they jump the gun and start to shower everyone around with all the abuses in the world. So, find a weak point or two in what they have to say and take maximum advantage of it. It's fun to make them pissed off.

Have fun
The more you contradict their views, the more they get pissed off. You should maintain you cool and then throw all kinds of funny/witty comments at them. But no cheap insults. No bashing. For instance, if you are being told that you're a son of a bitch, don't try to say otherwise. Just say yes, and reply with something like Perhaps she is, I wouldn't know, but at least she gave birth to a healthy and sane kid, unlike in your case. Trust me, that kinda line makes them go mad.

Finally, know when to stop
Because of two things. One, after a while neither of you will have anything to say and you'll end up repeating. Which is boring. Two, you don't have to have the last say, just have the best say and get out! Also, they maybe jobless, but are you?

Now that you know what to do, go have some fun guys!



  1. I bet none of these work against *some* trolls I know... ;) lol

  2. Sach, I guess this should be on everyone’s desktop as a reminder. ;)

  3. Perhaps make this everyone's homepage? I will also get many more hits.

  4. Hi Sach,
    I hope I may not come across as one when I share this with you:

    Enjoy it!

  5. Indeed you're not, Amila.
    I will definitely check it out, thanks!

  6. Ah! This would help me alot, The One...

    You know I get messed up sometimes in our forum :)

  7. Hey Sujan, hope it will!

    Yeah, you should try to relax more, shouldn't you?

    Cheers bro!