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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Online Stalking

Rain. Constant rain. Pouring down on earth making everything else insignificant. The whole world is dark, cold and wet. I'm on my cozy and comfortable bed with a warm coffee in hand. The aroma of the coffee is a... pleasure. Slowly sipping it down while being wrapped up in a comforter, on the bed, is heaven. The oh so cozy bed. Life is wonderful, life is a pleasure. I'm in that state where you're neither awake nor asleep. I hear the constant roar of the rain, the refreshing smell of the earth that just absorbed it's first drops of water for a while, and rain is what's all around me. I can feel the rain. Oblivious to everything else, I'm indulged in this wonderful feeling not wanting to escape it ever.

*Blonnngg*

Skype. Someone wants to chat with me, when I'm in this Zen state if you will, of all times. Reluctant to escape this heaven, for a moment I contemplate ignoring it. However, not wanting to miss a chat that is important, I slowly turn around.

Instead, a dude says Hiiii!

From experience I know that these 'HI's that has multiple 'i's in them are never a good sign. In fact, it's usually a tell tale sign that the bugger had assumed I'm a chick. Perhaps with good reason too, because I haven't specified my gender in my Skype account and my name can be taken as either male or female. First I'm thinking of telling him to fuck off and get back to where I was, but on second thoughts, I reply.
Hi...

So... how r u doin?

Err... excuse me, do we know each other?

ASL?

WOW, slow down mister! I asked whether we know each other.

no i wud like to knw u. whats ur asl?

Why should I tell you that?

u're a girl right?

Let's say so for the time being.

whr do u live?

Why do you want to know?

I wud like to knw more abt u

But we don't know anything about us to begin with!

u can tell me abt u more

Is that a question or a statement?

what?

Is that a question or a statement?

why r u talkin like that?

Like what?

u seems angry

I'm not. But what's your problem with vowels?

what problem?

And capitals too.

I don't undrstand u

OK, why can't you type the vowels properly?

ok..

Can you type the vowels properly?

yes..

Show me

wht do u want me to write

You can start by typing that.

lol Ok
what do you want me to write

Almost there
You missed capitalization at the beginning and this at the end: "?"

:D
What do you want me to write?

See, now that wasn't really hard was it?

lol OK so tell me abt u

Aaaaargh! WHERE ARE THE VOWELS?

kk sorry
So tell me about you

You first.

Ok I'm D. I live in SL....
This goes on for a while and I manage to know a lot about the poor bugger. Without telling much about me at all though I constantly had to remind the bugger about vowels. But then it starts to get a bit annoying, when he starts to refer to me as 'Sachi' and I realize it's not going to be long before he professes his undying love to me or something. I decide to break the harsh truth.
Anyway, D, I'm getting bored. I must get going.

kk so you coming online tomorrow?

No moron I'm not coming online tomorrow and even if I did I won't be talking to you.

Sorry?

See, you jackass, I'm a guy and unless you're gay and I'm gay, there's no point in talking anymore. I don't know about you but I'm not, so, get lost loser!
Then I'm hit by a barrage of curse words, without vowels of course. I block the moron and turn to go back to my Zen state only to find that the rain is seized and the mood isn't there anymore. Crap. I blame the age of information. Or whatever.


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9 comments:

  1. Wow.
    The zen state makes people mean!!! :P
    Also, I noticed that this is the second person who thought you were a girl...
    *runs away*

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think the key to maintaining your Zen state is to avoid responding to random people on the internet :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. SABBY!
    I'm going to kill you!
    (Just proved your first statement, didn't I?)
    :P

    PR,
    I know, but I was waiting for a certain someone! So since I turned to the screen, thought I might as well talk to whoever it was.

    ReplyDelete
  4. HAHAHA, what Sabby said! :D

    You can turn off showing random people that you're online on Skype no?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Didn't I tell you, I was waiting for someone!

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL! I invite this trouble when I'm bored on omegle.com

    It's a place to cat with random strangers. You can imagine it now.

    90% of the people there are "desperate for sex". Sometimes I find it fun to stalk the desperate losers. And of course I've found very interesting ppl there. Mostly the girls care to chat a while and only a handful of them [(claim to be) girls] claim to be hr0ny ;) . When I say I'm not interested in text sex, some leave saying "You could've f*cked me".

    That makes me murmur to self "Gah.. I could've."
    LOL

    This LOL shit is totally loaded on me by omegle.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Well Written Sir Jee..
    rAin's Such A Bliss man :) And Poor guy he didnot find anyone better than U :P

    ReplyDelete