Dear God...

Since it's that time of the year where we get to ask for what we want, and that you send them with that fat bloke who wears the same thing every year, I thought I might as well put in my wish list. First things first, please buy that dude a new suit or something - red and white is a bit, I don't know, overused perhaps, I guess. Just give him somethings else, make it blue and gold with a baseball cap (oh it's snowing, OK let him keep the snow cap then) and he'd look good. What does he wear rest of the year anyway? And give him some fancy sorta car or something. Come on, this is the digital age and all, don't make him ride that cart thing.

OK I think, scratch that, I was a good boy past year. See, I quit smoking, I've helped people, was less of an asshole compared to what I was before, had less fights with people, stopped whining - online or otherwise - and started being nice to people as much as I can. You've got to agree that's a lot. Specially coming from me. So I can send you the list right? OK here goes:

• I know this sounds stupid, but can you please make the winter, umm.... warm? I mean, I hate this cold weather. And that makes electricity and gas bills rocket sky high.

• Speaking of which, I wouldn't mind an increment either. Of salary I mean, not the bills.

• And please make my boss think that we deserve extra 10 paid leaves a year. 10 is not much right?

• Make all the Japs speak English.

• Visas are a bitch. Get rid of them. Make it so that we can go anywhere without them. OK I know some people, many islanders included, have a tendency to not return, but still. I promise I will.

• Make Sri Lankan food available here. Believe it or not, it's been a year since I had string hoppers. Or egg hoppers. Or pittu. Kadey Paan. EGB. Sri Lankan Chinese Rise, kottu, egg rotti, rotti. You get the point right?

• I love coffee. Let me have loads. Preferably Starbucks.

There's a lot more, but this'll do for the time being. See, I don't even like to ask you much, so I guess you'll let me have my couple of wants, won't you? Being such a nice and humble fellow I'm sure you're not gonna say no to my small request. Right?

Thank you so much.
Yours,
Sach - The Good Boy.

P.S.
While you're at it, if this is not too much to ask, can you also make earth flat? I've come to really hate this sphere-shaped one.
Thank you again.