Just a Quickie Then...

A post, that is. What did you think?

Anyway, most probably I won't be having time to come online again for a few days so warm wishes to everyone out there for an absolutely wonderful new year!

Cheers!
Yours Truly.

Where Have All the Movies Gone?

Is it just me or have the movies been more or less shit of late? Once upon a time, well even not so long ago I've been more or less a movie fanatic and not many of them escaped me. But, of late, there have been hardly a movie that I could say a good one let alone awesome. For the past month or so I abandoned watching at least ten movies halfway through, and now I'm so disappointed I haven't even tried watching one for a week. Two weeks, actually.

To be fair, it always took a special one to impress me. Many movies which many thought were awesome, were pretty OK at best in my eye but still there were a lot of stuff that I liked. I know awesome stuff don't come along everyday, but there always were quite good ones right? Good enough to keep me watching them till the end. But, say, for the last six months Inglorious Basterds, Up and The Taking of Pelham 123 were the only movies I saw that I could say were really good. Inglorious Basterds was awesome, must be said. I still didn't see 2012, but from what I hear there's nothing in it other than everything on earth getting destroyed. Even the latest Harry Potter movie was, at best, ordinary.

Even supposed to be humorous ones were so dry that you could only laugh at the unlaughableness of them. Is there such a word by the way? Back on topic, that latest American Pie movie (what's it's name?) was so boring that I got so pissed I just deleted it for good. Not just delete; shift + delete so I will never see it again. And, what else were there? Oh that animation; 9. What the fuck was that about? I fell asleep at least three times before I got to the end. Surrogates too made me fall asleep, though been damn tired plus the effect of two beers must have had a say in it as well. Not the movie, my falling asleep that is. Then there were a shitload of others I can't even remember except for the fact that they were, err... shit.

Seriously, where the hell are all the good movies gone? Can anyone suggest me a good one to watch. I'll write a blog post in honour of the person who suggest the best one that I have not watched yet. I promise.

P.S.
I'm in Kottu Mag this week. Here. Cool.

Penultimates

Today is the penultimate working day of the year. I always wanted to use the word 'penultimate' in a blog post. How cool is it that I managed it on the penaltimate working day of the year in probably the penultimate post of the year. Yaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooooo! That cheer is for this being the penultimate working day of the year, not for this post being such. Now guess I overused the word in just a single para, let alone a post.

Anyway, as I was saying there is one more working day to go and that too is mainly allowed for cleaning and stuff. We basically clean up each of us' working space, get rid of old and unwanted documents and stuff; basically make the working place a bit cleaner and fresh for next year's work. Is there any such thing going on in Sri Lanka? I'm not sure, but chances are there isn't. I think this is a good thing though - starting a new year afresh is always a good idea, besides you get to spend the last day of the year without working which could only be a plus. Except perhaps for the workaholics.

But before that I'll have to get through this day first, which is a bitch. The problem with working in Japanese is, it takes about, say, six hours to think of what should be done about a program and then even finish the coding but additional two days to prepare the fucking useless absolutely necessary documents. Add to that the fact that I'm at work on a Saturday, after being at work on Christmas day as well. Oh well, I shall get through this torture somehow.

Have a nice weekend you luckier fellows!

Everything Happens for the Best

Once upon a time there lived a great king who's got a prime minister by his side, a man who was full of wisdom. He, the prime minister, always tried to see the glass half filled - positivity is what fueled him and there was no such word as negativity in his vocabulary. Everything happens for the best he used to say all the time. This sometimes irritated the king, for his supposed-to-be-wise friend would say this all the time, even when nothing whatsoever good could be seen around. Yet the king put up with this for prime ministers advices would be quite impressive more often than not.

One day, the great king wanted to go deer hunting, thus a hunting party was organized to be headed by the king and the prime minister. Not too far into the wild, the king and the prime minister separated from the rest of the party chasing a particularly speedy deer. The king attempted several arrows at the deer of which none were successful. Unfortunately, at this moment the minister's careless handling of the sword accidentally cut king's finger. Already in an angry state for not being able to hunt down the deer they were chasing, this made the king go mad. However, while apologising for his carelessness, the minister uttered his usual words; "I'm sorry your highness, but perhaps this too happened for the best". That was it, for the king. There he could not hunt down the deer, and the stupid minister cut his finger, yet he says it happened for the best. The king fired the minister right then and there, sending him back to which the minister merely said; I shall leave you here then, your highness, but I am alright with it for I know that everything happens for the best.

Afterwards, the king continued hunting on his own now that he was separated from his hunting party as well as his faithful minister. However, alone in the forest the king soon lost his tracks and wandered deep into the jungle where he was captured by a group of cannibals. They dragged him into their village and tied to a pole that was erected right at the centre, after which a large cauldron was placed and heated in front of him. This made the king realized what was about to happen; he was going to be sacrificed to the gods, killed that is, and eaten right then and there. But moments before the cannibals were about to strike the first blow, one noticed king's bleeding finger and the leader was duly informed. A hasty investigation later, it was decided that sacrificing an incomplete gift to the gods might anger them, thus the king was released and made free.

The king could not believe his good fortune, and while he found his way back to the castle he finally realized what his prime minister was saying all these years was perhaps true after all. This made him feel terrible, as he had just fired the man who saved his life, even though he didn't know this at that time. Upon his return to the castle, the king sent his men all over the country to find and bring back the minister to him. He was brought back to the castle, and the king humbly apologized for his mistakes but to his amazement the prime minister said that king need not apologize to him and that everything happens for the best.

But my faithful friend, I did such a great injustice to you by firing you when you in fact saved my life by cutting my finger even though it was unintentional, said the king.

Perhaps that saved your life, your highness, but I am actually glad that you fired and sent me away when I cut your finger

How so?

Well, if you didn't fire me, and was with you when you got caught by them, you would have had a cut in your finger but not me!



There, one of my all time favorite stories to you on Christmas eve. Consider it my Christmas gift to you all.

Merry Christmas Friends!

Campus Stories : How to Survive Being Ala

Basic Definitions:

Ragging : A form of abuse on newcomers in educational (mostly) institutions.

Ala : An antiragger. A person who opposes ragging, thus doesn't get ragged by anyone and does not rag anyone.

Wela : People who get ragged, and return the favor to the newcomers come next year.

Semi-Ala : A member of the Ala group by definition, but not wholeheartedly. Hangs out with the other party as well, and does not take a side in a crisis situation.

Semi-Wela : A member of the Wela group by definition, but not wholeheartedly. Hangs out with the other party as well, and does not take a side in a crisis situation.

Purpose of this post is to provide you a guide to survive, even thrive four years in the university without getting ragged, thus the two groups Semi-Ala and Semi-Wela are not discussed henceforth.


Perspective Definitions:

Definition of Alayo by Welayo
Softies. Posh, possesses a good command in English, and usually rich. Looks down on people of all classes that are not theirs, does not care for the commoners. Focused, at all times, only on their well being. Un-patriotic, admires all things foreign and most probably UNP-ish. Spoilt brats/bitches. Hence the term Ala which literally means Potatoes - foreign, expensive, soft and usually perceived as a high class food.

Definition of Welayo by Welayo
The real deal. Tough guys, brave but still possesses a kind heart that cares for humanity. Open minded, wise and are matured. THE prototype of the university student.

Definition of Welayo by Alayo
Assholes. Uncivilized morons, who like nothing better than to see their own suffer. Oppose all things conventional just for the sake of it, and big heads who see their way the only way. Backbone-less for not being able to stand up to other assholes who want you to lick toilets. Being 'radical' and patriotic is considered fashionable. Usually JVP. The term Wela (literal meaning ; over riped Jack Fruit) reflects on the said backbone-less characteristic, basically everything that is the opposite of Potatoes.

Definition of Alayo by Alayo
Humble and brave. All are equal, and nobody's made to do anything by anyone else because they happened to be born a year earlier. Appreciates freedom and the right to live with dignity. Everything that is NOT the definition of Alayo by Welayo.


Tips for survival (tested and proven)
Upon your entering the university, senior Welayo will be uncharacteristically nice to you. Don't be deceived. Repeat, don't be deceived. The niceties are only until you are converted - afterwards you will be asked to clean their toilets with your tongue because the university is on a cost cutting mission and toilet cleaning equipment are not provided to them. Remain uninterested to their invitations at all times, and avoid confrontations as much as possible. Not being alone whenever you are out in the open will be a good practice. Guys will have the added advantage of keeping girls of your batch in company whenever necessary, and girls will have the opportunity of being protected from the evil Welayo, by the Alayo who want to get into your pants. Well not always, but you get the gist.

Know your facts. Some of the common misconceptions promoted by Welayo are that you will not be able to survive four years in the university without the help of the seniors and only Welayo will be given the said help. Or that you will be isolated in lectures. That you will not be able to stay in hostels. Truth is, there are Ala seniors who are more than capable of giving you assistance - a.k.a. Kuppi - and it is very rarely that you have only a solitary Alaya registered in a particular course. You will have at least one partner, usually a lot more. There are hostels that Alayo can stay perfectly well as well. Also, if you're a guy, knowing that usually the girls outnumber guys roughly 1 : 3 when it comes to Alayo will help you keep motivated.

Also being aware of the freedom you will enjoy being Ala is bound to motivate you. For one, you do not have to abide a set of self imposed silly rules that serves no purpose other than to harass you. You don't have to be belt-less and wrist-watch-less for three months. If you're of the fairer sex, you can wear jeans and short skirts if you prefer, without being labelled as a whore. You can use facilities such as the gym and the pool right away as opposed to Welayo who forbid you from the use of them until they deem it appropriate. You don't have to call silly names for the schools which you practically grew up, whenever you are talking about them. You can pretty much live without your human rights being violated if you become Ala.

In the event of a confrontation, assault verbally as much as possible as opposed to being physical. Welayo largely outnumber you, usually at a ratio somewhere around 1 to 20, so a physical confrontation hints at a prospective disaster. Also, do not show any signs of fear even when confronted with a bunch that fits the above proportion - they do not want to start a fight and suffer the consequences, so take advantage of it. Talk, displaying that you're oozing with confidence that you can take them on. Also, they do not have the courage to take you on unless they outnumber you 20 to 1 as mentioned above. Mentioning the names of few 'aiyas' in town you happen to know will probably help, though making sure the said 'aiyas' are not better pals of the Welayo you're confronting would be healthy.

Be politically correct. Though you never really have any intentions of wiping out the Wela population in the university, they want to wipe you out. Thus they will, at times, take drastic measures which might provide you with an opportunity. Always be on alert, and make the best of it when an opportunity comes your way.

Not all Welayo will be as hardcore as their top notch leaders. There are plenty who are not real assholes. Take advantage of it; make friends with them and then induce fear into not so hardcore Welayo by continuously reminding them the might-be-dire consequences of getting into a confrontation with Alayo. Do not forget to remind them that the staff members are more often than not on the lookout for an opportunity to get back at Welayo for their unacceptable behavior in the past.

When you advance through the years, you will inevitably make friends with them. Still, make it a point to remind them the treatments they got from their seniors, and the stupidity of it all. By that time, they have probably realized that anyway, but still reminding that is a good idea because they will be less and less intent on continuing the tradition. Long shot, and takes time, but always worth a try.

Keep reminding yourself, in difficult times, that you were able to hold your head high and that you never bowed to the pressure from them. Be proud of the fact that you did not let anybody abuse you (all pun intended), and that in turn you did not abuse anybody either. That you lived by your principles, and that you did not make it a point to harass someone because they happen to be born after you. Be proud that you were not a disgrace to the humanity.


ONE thing to keep in mind at all times.
The privileges and freedom you enjoy being Ala right from the moment you enter the university did not come without a price. A lot of Alayo before you had to go through a LOT to get what you have today, they had to fight - figuratively and literally - over many years and had to go through a lot. Therefore do not, I repeat, DO NOT, take your freedom and privileges for granted for doing so will only ruin it for many a Ala generation to come. Instead, make sure that they too will be able to enjoy those in years to come.

Good luck to all you potential Alayo!

Inside a box, rolling down a slope

I'm on leave today, but I promise it has nothing to do with the aches all over my body that I have as a result of skiing trying to skiing. Yesterday was the first time I tried my hands, or arms and legs to be more accurate on that bastard of a sport skiing. After more than a three hours of torture, now I feel like I was put inside a box and rolled down a slope - a steep one at that.

Here's how it started. I was to leave my apartment at about 5 in the morning and meet my friends at 5.45, but me being me I woke up only a couple of minutes before 5.45, that too thanks to a wake-up call from a friend. Anyway, after a quick shower and stuff I just made it in time for the bus that leaves for the skiing place, and I thought how lucky I was to make it in time. But a few hours later I was cursing myself for dragging my ass in time - why oh why didn't I get late was a prominent thought in my head. Before skiing session, our friends who were more apt at the sport had advised that after a while you'll feel like that you will never be able to ski in your life, but I wasn't giving much attention to that. I should have though, because that's exactly how I felt after a hour or so.

When you fall down (note "when", not "if"), getting up by yourself is an art of it's own. Well it's a bitch actually. Then after several pathetic attempts just when you manage to get up, inevitably you fall down. At least I did. Again and again and again. The most embarrassing part is when probably eight year old kids ski past you like dolphins in the water while you're trying to get up so pathetically. Anyway, after a couple of hours of this, and cursing myself, I just managed to ski one round without falling, only for a Jap chick to collide with me in the next one and fall down again. But knowing that there are at least some Japs who suck at this just as you is a relief.

Finally, probably in the last half an hour or so, I think I got the hang of it - not much but it was definitely an improvement. I was still in the beginner's track, but hell, that's enough for one day I guess. Despite every joint and muscle aching like hell, I think I will go again.

Happy Monday all!

Dear God...

Since it's that time of the year where we get to ask for what we want, and that you send them with that fat bloke who wears the same thing every year, I thought I might as well put in my wish list. First things first, please buy that dude a new suit or something - red and white is a bit, I don't know, overused perhaps, I guess. Just give him somethings else, make it blue and gold with a baseball cap (oh it's snowing, OK let him keep the snow cap then) and he'd look good. What does he wear rest of the year anyway? And give him some fancy sorta car or something. Come on, this is the digital age and all, don't make him ride that cart thing.

OK I think, scratch that, I was a good boy past year. See, I quit smoking, I've helped people, was less of an asshole compared to what I was before, had less fights with people, stopped whining - online or otherwise - and started being nice to people as much as I can. You've got to agree that's a lot. Specially coming from me. So I can send you the list right? OK here goes:

• I know this sounds stupid, but can you please make the winter, umm.... warm? I mean, I hate this cold weather. And that makes electricity and gas bills rocket sky high.

• Speaking of which, I wouldn't mind an increment either. Of salary I mean, not the bills.

• And please make my boss think that we deserve extra 10 paid leaves a year. 10 is not much right?

• Make all the Japs speak English.

• Visas are a bitch. Get rid of them. Make it so that we can go anywhere without them. OK I know some people, many islanders included, have a tendency to not return, but still. I promise I will.

• Make Sri Lankan food available here. Believe it or not, it's been a year since I had string hoppers. Or egg hoppers. Or pittu. Kadey Paan. EGB. Sri Lankan Chinese Rise, kottu, egg rotti, rotti. You get the point right?

• I love coffee. Let me have loads. Preferably Starbucks.

There's a lot more, but this'll do for the time being. See, I don't even like to ask you much, so I guess you'll let me have my couple of wants, won't you? Being such a nice and humble fellow I'm sure you're not gonna say no to my small request. Right?

Thank you so much.
Yours,
Sach - The Good Boy.

P.S.
While you're at it, if this is not too much to ask, can you also make earth flat? I've come to really hate this sphere-shaped one.
Thank you again.

The Dreaded Friend

Let's call him R. We're like digital friends or something - it's either 1 or 0. When we do get in touch, however far and apart those occasions are, we are great buddies and when we are not in touch, we really lose all the connections. Haven't seen or even heard from the bugger for quite a while now, which I can't decide whether a good thing or a bad thing. Because, despite being such a cool dude and a good friend, he always brings disaster to my life whenever we meet. It's not intentional, but things get weird and more often than not I end up wanting to kill him more or less.

We first met when I was in my O/L classes. I attended a Science tuition class of which I was the only guy among six girls. That was cool - those were the days when you are positive about having a chance with every chick you come across - and having six of them to choose from was considered cool. More time was spent on trying to impress them instead of learning anything, but looking back, making a fool of myself is how I could best describe what I was doing. However the girls were nice enough not to break the harsh truth to me, thus I was basking myself in this assumed glory for a couple of months. Then R joined the tuition class, the bugger entered into my life, and there ended my glory days in the class.

R always dressed carelessly. His usual attire was a rugged denim and a T shirt with Bata slippers. Add a baseball cap and he was all set. Unfortunately that was a time when I was insistent on dressing well, and we couldn't have been more contrasting at the class. Soon it became a competition as to who would impress the girls most, and I tell you these girls like carelessly dressed jerks (yes he was a jerk back then) over well dressed nice guys. My nice guy tactics were of no use and R was winning the battle hands down. Pretty soon he wanted to go for the hottest of the six. Let's call her M. Unfortunately, as much as R was a jerk M was a bitch. Up until then I was giving attention to all of them - no discrimination was my policy - but R changed all that and M started acting like a, well, girl I suppose. And things got really messed up, girls started hating M, R started acting like a jerk even more, and M was having fun and making R look bad insulting him all the time with snide remarks, and I was left to watch all this. Then one day M announced in front of the whole class to R that don't be an asshole and stop chasing her, that she's too good for him, for poor (literally) old R. What she didn't know was R is filthy rich. The next day the bugger drove his dad's Mercedes to the class, M was stunned and made to shut up. Then - this is really sad to say - not many days passed by and M completely changed her attitude and started acting like a kitten in front of him. But R was full of ego too, he gave a good earful to M, M retorted, girls took her side in the end and I took his, all hell broke loose and thus ended my happy days with the six chicks.

Oh well, said I and we moved on, R and I remained friends. Bros before whores and all. After the O/Ls he left to Aussie and sent me a message telling he's got a pet donkey at his place there. I often wondered why a donkey would have another as a pet, but never got to find out as that was the last time I heard from him for a long long time. Several years passed by and one day I got a call from R saying he was in Sri Lanka and lets meet. Meet we did, and sure enough it too was more or less an embarrassing episode. That was the time when I was with my ex . Let's call her N. We used to meet at MC a lot, food court being one of our favorite joints. That day I was to meet with her so I thought why not ask her to come too. I asked both R and N to come there at about 4 in the evening but I got late. Big mistake. When I got there, R was sitting dumbstruck in our favorite table and N was storming away from it. Apparently the bugger had thrown a pickup line or two (I'm sure it must have been pretty lame) at N and she happened to be in a particularly pissed off mood as well. A lot of explaining, apologies and hissyfits later we settled it all, but you get the picture what kind of a friend he is.

Then another couple of years later suddenly R appeared in my doorstep one evening saying he came back to Sri Lanka for a short visit and that he's leaving the next day! However, while cursing him, I jumped in the car and we drove to pick up a friend before ending up in another's place for the evening. With three bottles of Black Label, unfortunately. By midnight the four of us had finished two of the three bottles and were quite high, and I suggested that we call it a day. That was the time I was in the second year of the university and I had a 8 a.m. lecture the next morning. The other two agreed but R was having none of it, and the bugger played the trump card saying Adoh, I came back to see you after many years and leaving tomorrow, you guys can't stay with me for a few more hours? Now that's like your wife saying honey let's go for a dinner when you have a world cup semi final to watch, if you know what I mean. In the end, we had to stay like close to 3 in the morning, the last bottle was finished and we were piss drunk. I don't remember how he drove in that state but he dropped me at home and I hit the bed straightaway. Not wanting to miss the lecture (yes, there was a time that I did attend lectures, you know) I got up the next morning, or the same morning to be precise, and was at the lecture. Just in time. Now, in lectures usually we take the back row but that day - of all days - the bloody lecturer felt like inviting us to the front row and I had to sit in the front row. With a hangover. I have never wished more I didn't drink. Or I didn't know R.

Since then it's been close to five years, and it's about time he made his next reappearance. As much as I miss the bugger, I'm just helplessly awaiting the dreaded day and what it would bring me this time...

Unit of Love

What's the unit of love? If you've never given a thought to this, this would be a good time to rake your brains, ask the pundits or search the net to find a satisfactory answer. One good (perhaps) method would be to consider how it is expressed, not by actions but by words. Then it is apparent that the unit of love varies drastically, not to mention hilariously, from person to person on their choices of words. Often this is confusing, though, as usually any line of expressing love doesn't usually state the unit leaving us to deduce what it might be.

For example, consider a standard and well used line like Sweetheart, I love you more than the whole wide world. Now, one could argue that the unit of love is cubic meters (let's stick to SI) as the statement refers to the world, which indicates a volume. However others might try to differ stating that though the sentence refers to the world, it does not necessarily refers the size as in volume. They might argue that the word wide gives an indication to the fact that it could in fact be length (breadth also being a length) and that the unit should be meters. Then again, others might also say that it could be the weight though no direct indications are given in this case.

However, certain expressions leave us with no clue at all as they state the amount of affection in relation to the amount of affection you have for another person/animal/thing etc. On a different note, it would be healthier for the one who express their love in this fashion to think twice on to whom or what they compare their love. One wrong word, and you could be doomed. Specially men. Hell hath no fury like a woman cheated, someone once said. Getting back on topic, an expression like I love you million times more than the love I have for everyone and everything in the whole wide world leaves us with no clue at all to finding the unit of love. But the lack of indication doesn't necessarily imply that there isn't in fact a unit, so we shall move on.

Sweetheart, my love for you is equal to the length of the universe times it's breadth in nanometers! Surely an educated idiot who lost it. Naturally, it tend to confuse things. At face value you could say the unit of love is nanometers squared, thought it might suggest otherwise if you take a closer look. It could very well be that what's intended there is the number representing the value of the area of universe in nanometers as it tends to be much larger compared to the same value represented in square meters. Thus this statement cleverly disguises the unit of value misleading us into think that it's nanometers. Perhaps not an idiot after all, but we shall not be fooled.

Moving on, an expression like My love for you is more than the weight of all the cow dung that's ever put on this earth, though gross and should not be associated with a wonderful feeling like love in the first place, gives us a clear indication helping our cause. Similarly, Length of all the Harry Potter books ever printed put in one line, surely by a big Harry Potter fan who professed his or her undying love to their grade five classmate, says that the unit is meters. By the way, I did not make up the above two - they were in fact real - I promise. There are some people like that.

This could go on. Love inspires all things human, and since there's no shortage of either - love and humans that is - there surely won't be a shortage of expressions to be analyzed either. Thus we shall stop there, and perhaps indulge in it and add another one or two to the ever growing How-much-I-love-you list of quotes.

Like, Sweetheart, I love you so much that I'd get a sex change done if you turn lesbian.

I'm back with the letter to that sixteen year old jerk!

Hello people!

So... how have you been? Good? Good. I'm good too. I've never seen three 'good's in as many consecutive sentences. Make it four. Alright, first things first. Our good old LadyD tagged me with that letter-to-sixteen-year-old-self thing which The Drummer started. Guess I owe them that, so here goes:


Dear Sach
First, shut up and listen. I know you've already got a bucket load of questions, but read till the end. Then you can ask. I'm you, only went around the sun further 12 times. And I'm supposed to write you a letter, advising you if I feel like it, I'm even allowed to tell you what's gonna happen to you fool in the coming years. Ha, imagine that! I know a shitload of things about your future, what you did or what you didn't, for that matter. So, you wanna know? But that's the problem. Me being you, I know that I didn't get a letter from an older me when I was sixteen. What happened (or what's gonna happen, is it?) really? Either this didn't get delivered to you, or I didn't write it knowing that I'm not gonna get it because I didn't get it. That's confusing right? But, if I throw this away, that'll be the obvious reason why I didn't get it. So, instead, I'm gonna go on and write this and see how you didn't get it.

Ha, now you feeling good don't you? So ready to listen to what you're gonna do? What, you really thought I'm gonna tell you? Good luck with that son, you're not gonna hear a thing! Why would I tell you anything? You'll have to figure out by yourself what to do with your life. I made my decisions, ended up here, and I like being me so I wouldn't wanna change it.

Instead, how about me telling you a few things that's gonna happen in near future that does NOT concern you? Well, let's say they are very less likely to affect you. I know that there are so many things you're wondering about right now, how they are gonna end up and all that. I can tell you a few, but please don't go boasting to everyone that you know the future. Keep them to yourself for god's sake, OK?

• The world didn't end in, oh well, in any of the years many a lunatic predicted.
• You're still alive too, but you deduced that already.
• At 40, Sanath Jayasuriya is still playing cricket, so are Sachin and Murali, but not Warne. And no, Sri Lanka didn't win another World Cup.
• Neither did All Blacks. I know I know it's unbelievable, but what to do man?
• Flying cars are still in the future, sorry.
• So is immortality. Sorry again.
• Nobody made a dinosaur. Yet.
• Aliens aren't here yet either. Perhaps they're still on the way. Or maybe Einstein is right after all.
• No further moon landings and Mars or Venus is a distant dream. Lot of 'no's eh? So much for your enthusiasm.
• A Sri Lankan will win an Olympic medal. I promise I'm not lying.
• Politics? Forget that. It'll be the same.
• There will be 4GB RAMs and 1TB hard disks. I know you don't have the slightest idea what those are, but I also know you're going to try and find out tomorrow. When you do, you'll be surprised but don't tell anyone or you'll look like a fool.
• Almost everyone will have a mobile phone, and those will fit in your shirt pocket even. Quite easily.
• Computers too will be pretty common.
• Time travelling, not yet. Oh wait, so THAT'S why I didn't get this letter!

Ha, that old drummer. He almost fooled us into thinking that these letters will get delivered actually! Lucky I didn't write all the stupid shit you're gonna do or else the whole blogsphere would get to know what a dimwit I was. Whew!

Alright then, see you in twelve years sonny.

You.
Me.
Whatever.


I'm supposed to tag two people, but guess that almost every one's tagged by now. Besides, even the drummer has let go of this thing, so why would I try otherwise? Anyway, if you're not tagged yet, take this as a tag for you and go ahead.

So... did you miss me? Or did you go like No shit, the loser's back! when you saw the title? In that case, well, sorry. If it was the first, thank you, I love you and I missed you too. Anyway, this is totally random and out of topic, but I saw a damn funny FB group the other day. I usually meh most of them, but this is just friggin' hilarious. The name of the group is The hilarity of Harry Potter quotes when changing "wand" to "willy". You get what it is, and here are few of the pure gold stuff.

"Harry held Ron's willy as his own was defective."

"Harry rubbed his willy feverishly until white sparks shot out of the end, which earned him a disapproving look from Fleur."

"Don’t put your willy there, boy! roared Moody."

"Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his willy from his trousers. “It’s no wonder I can’t get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they’re tight!” “Oh, I’m so sorry,” hissed Hermione, and Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his willy instead."

And my personal favorite;

"Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent."

Priceless, aren't they? There are some creative buggers out there I tell you. Well other than that, the break has been good. Had a lot of sleep, played some cricket - oh by the way I think I told you that we entered a final right? But unfortunately it had to be postponed to next March as weather is too cold to be playing cricket these days. It's the end of the Autumn, and last weekend I went to see one of the last places in Japan you can still see some brilliant Autumn leaves. Captured a few on my camera, so you can check them out here.

Later fellas!