From an E-Mail...

The Cycle of Life



Boss says to secretary: For a week we will be going abroad, so please make necessary arrangements.

Secretary calls her husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, so you look after yourself.

Husband calls his secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover calls the little boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Little boy calls his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have tuition 'coz my teacher is busy. Let's spend the week together.

Grandpa calls his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot go abroad.

Secretary calls her husband: This week my boss has some other work, so we canceled our trip.

Husband calls secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has canceled her trip.

Secret lover calls the little boy whom she is giving private tuition: My appointment was canceled. This week we will have tuition as usual.

Little boy calls his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend classes. Sorry I can't give you company.
Grandpa calls his secretary: Don't worry, this week we will be attending that meeting, so please do make necessary arrangements.

And so on...

From an E-Mail...

Heaven

An old couple dies and goes to heaven.
There, St. Peter gives them the grand tour of their new home. It's a HUGE mansion with a limo driver, gardener, etc.

The old man exclaims, "That's ours?"
St. Peter says "Yes, it is yours, forever and ever."

The old man is a little suspicious and says, "How much is the rent?"
St. Peter says, "It is free. After all, this is heaven."

Across the street is an expansive golf course with beautifully manicured lawn, interesting layout, and fun golf carts.
St. Peter says, "You can play here whenever you want."
The old man says, "What are the green fees?"
St. Peter replies, "None. After all, this is heaven."

The old man is very impressed.

They go inside the house and on the dining room table is a gigantic feast with roasted meats, desserts, fine wine and all the fixings.
The old man says, "How many calories?"
St. Peter says, "None. After all, this is heaven."

The old man gets a look on his face like he suddenly understands what heaven is all about.

Then the old man suddenly turns and slaps the old woman, yelling, "You stupid witch! If it weren't for your damn bran muffins and tofu and other health food, not to mention making me give up booze and cigarettes and take exercise every day, we could have been here YEARS ago!"

From an E-Mail...

Yeah, I know you're supposed to write your own stuff in a blog, not e-mails, but really who cares?

I don't.

Actually, we all get some hundreds of e-mails everyday, and from time to time we do find some really good stuff don't we.

So I thought of sharing some of the best mails I got.
Could be humorous stuff, really touching mails, inspirational stuff, cool pics etc.
So I'll be posting from time to time, under the same title, some good stuff I get from emails.

Here we go, the first one:


A man escaped from the prison where he has been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns but finds a young couple in bed.

The guy orders the husband out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the wife to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds:
“He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”