Farewell, KS!

This blog completed five years of its existence about three or four days ago. I meant to put up a customary post about it's been that long and how I don't blog enough anymore. Perhaps fittingly I even forgot to do that so I said screw it and decided not to. Later yesterday, though, I was reading through my RSS feed and found a post from Magerata after about couple of years or so, so I gleefully headed there only to be shocked and depressed about the death of Kalu Sudda, or KS as we used to call him.

So yeah, screw the happy birthday post, this is for you, KS.

I've got to admit I was never the best pals with him. Nonetheless we had a few memorable chats during those days especially with the connection we had; I was living in Japan and his wife is Japanese and he had a great love for Japan. He used to talk so fondly of his wife, Miss Fukuoka, who had actually learnt of the existence of his blog only few days ago as it seems and was kind enough to let us know. Apparently it has been about four years since KS passed away.

As it happens, I still remember the last conversation we had, and it was about the very sea voyage that would turn out to be his last! I've always wanted to spend a few weeks on the sea and he was telling me that we should make it happen sometime. Then he said 'see you' but the bugger never kept his word. Life really isn't fair sometimes.

All I can say is he was a fun bloke and the world will be poorer without him. May you rest in peace, KS.

You'll be remembered, Steve

It is said that Steve Jobs knew what the customers wanted even before they did. There's no greater tribute that can be paid to probably the greatest business visionary of our times.

RIP, Steve.

I've got only few more months left!

Gotcha, didn't I?

Well, prolly not. You see, Kottu shows the first few lines of every post, not just titles, so the attention grabbing titles are of no use really. Vot to do. So yeah, I'm not going to die or anything - in fact I'm as healthy as I can be and as happy as a bee! By the way, who came up with this 'happy as a bee' line? I mean, how do you know if a bee is happy or not? Did he conduct an interview or something? For all we know, they may be spending a life as shitty as Ranil W right now. I think it's got something to do with the buzzing. Poor guy, didn't he know that everything that buzzes is not necessarily happy? If he's right, cell phones and door bells must be two of the happiest things on earth.

Anyway, back to topic.

Have you ever stopped to think how you'd feel if you got to know that you've got only a few months left to live? Say you get to know that you've got some incurable disease, one which guarantees nothing but death. Just three months is all you have. What would you do?

Think I'll be shit scared more than anything else, at least at first. No matter whatever is being said about death, how some people are not afraid to die, they all feel the fear of death at least at the very last moment. Except perhaps the ones who lost all the reasons to live. But the fact remains that the fear of death is the driving force that keeps life going. Ironic isn't it?

But then what would you do? Would you be so scared, and let the fear over take you? Would you be a victim of fear, go mad, before the actual disease gets to you? Or would you be withdrawn from everything, and sulk in a corner until the last day? Get so angry and scream at everyone and everything that gets on your way? Perhaps go on about your life, doing what you do, because there is nothing else to do? Or would party like there's no tomorrow - come to think of it, there isn't - and do whatever you wanted to do, making those few months the best of your life? Honestly, I don't know. But I like to think that I would chose the last if I was faced with it, though I wish that I won't have to face it in the first place.

There was one man though, Randy Pausch, who faced exactly this situation. Dunno if you've heard about him, but in case you haven't, it's a story worth knowing. He was - yes, he was - a professor in the Department of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University. In mid 2007 he got to know that he had an incurable cancer, and was left with only a few months to live. I can only imagine what he must have gone through. But in the end he refused to bow to death, he refused to look glum, instead came forward with a series of lectures about life which were totally, and I mean totally inspiring! His last lecture, titled Achieving Your Childhood Dreams, was a treat to watch. It's a bit long, but guys do watch it - use an hour you waste on FB - and you wouldn't regret. He talks about his childhood dreams, as the title suggests, and how important it is for someone to try to achieve them. However stupid, lame or useless they may seem. Because at the end of the day, it's the only thing you'd take to your grave with you - the thought that you achieved what you wanted in your life. Nothing else. I'm totally amazed at the courage of this man who managed a smile even while facing a certain death. Staying true to his profession, he taught us a lesson even in the last days of his life, a lesson for us all to remember.

Randy died on 25th of July 2008, aged 47, but as I see it, he lived a fuller life than most of us can dream of.

R.I.P. Sir!

Goodbye Michael...

First thing in the morning I do after getting up from the bed is turn on my computer. And check my e-mails. I did so this morning as well, and there was a mail from my good old Russian friend Oleg. I was thrilled for it was some time since we had a chat and it was always a pleasure getting an e-mail from him.

But not this time.

I was shocked, to say the least. I was like, "wait a minute, that can't be right". But then, I knew that whatever jokes he cracked, this cannot be one.

The mail said Michael Crichton had died.

I read it again, and again, and again. I was still in disbelief. How could it be? So I turned to my trusted friend Google, and there it was. Bang!

It was true.

A sudden overwhelming sorrow filled me, like if the Sun went out right in the middle of the day. How could it be? It said a cancer. But nobody knew. Seems that he didn't want anybody's sympathy but rather decided to fight it alone and go about his business as usual. Typical Michael.

My mind raise back some fourteen years to 1994. I was coming out of a cinema theatre, filled with thrill, amazement, joy and what not. Yes, I was coming back home after watching Jurassic Park. That was the first time I enjoyed the pure genius of the man. To be honest, I didn't even know who Michael Crichton was, back then. When you say Jurassic Park, the name that comes to your mind is Steven Spielberg - not MC. It's a shame that even today not many people know Jurassic Park is based on a novel - let alone who wrote it. But still, that was when I first encountered one of his works.

Fast forward six or seven years.

I had this habit of going to a bookshop at least once a month, not necessarily to buy them for I did not always had the money, but I just loved - I still do - being among books. I would spend two, three hours at a time in them just going through racks, enjoying that amazing smell of new books...
So there I was, in 'International' section and came across a book called Sphere, written by Michael Crichton. I remembered that this is the same guy who wrote Jurassic Park, so I thought 'what the heck, I'd give it a try'. Paid the Rs. 700/= odd with the money my mom gave me a couple of days ago to buy a new shirt and went home.

And things were never the same again.

I fell in LOVE with Sphere. It was such a fantastic read. And then I bought Jurassic Park. The Lost World. And I was crazy... I was so fascinated by his work that I wanted to read them all. Now, today, I have read all his novels plus his own unique sort of autobiography Travels - actually, I have all of them with me!

He is such a great writer that you can hardly not fall in love with his work. 'Thought provoking' and 'controversial' are the two best words to describe him, and his work. There was never a boring book - rather, they usually guarantee you a few sleepless nights. He was the modern day master of suspense when it comes to storytelling. I believe almost all of you have at least once experienced the raise of heartbeat while watching a movie. But how many times has that happened to you while reading a book? Michael managed that with almost all his novels.

He always blended fact with fiction so seamlessly that many people took his work to be so offensive. That in itself is a tribute to his amazing ability as a writer. And his books were always a recipe for controversy.

In an age where women were screaming for their rights, he wrote about sexual harassment - but only to make the man the victim. Imagine that!

When American-Japanese trade relations were in a highly tense situation, he wasn't afraid to express his views freely. Many labeled him a racist, but most of them hadn't even read the book!

In Airframe, he took a dig at the media - the ugly side of it.

And he saved his best for the last. Well, one before the last.

In State of Fear, he boldly questioned the motives of environmentalists at a time when global warming was considered a religion - not just a theory that is unproven. Them environmentalists, media and a few others went hysteric to say the least. But to his credit, all his claims were based on solid fact - not just assumptions or speculation which is just about all when it comes to 'global warming worshippers'. He argued that spending billions of dollars on a theory that isn't even proven is foolishness beyond imagination. Specially in a world where millions of people die in hunger, thirst and other deceases that are easily curable. Why don't we address those more pressing matters was his question...

Personally, my life was enriched, enlightened and influenced a lot by his work. Not to mention the friends I made because of him. Yeah, that is another interesting story. After reading a few of his books, I just searched on the net for more information about this guy, and stumbled upon his official website. There, among many things was a message board. Reluctantly, I posted a couple of posts.

To this day, I'm glad I did.

Though I wasn't sure what the responses would be, I was welcome warmly. And I became a regular member and found out that there was a small but very special, diverse and intellectual community. The discussions? Oh, they were the best! We could talk about thousand topics, agreeing or disagreeing with each other without really slinging mud at each other. It was food for thought - that message board was!
And I made a lot of friends there, from all over the world - including Oleg, who sent me this sad news today. They are all pretty normal people just like me, sharing the common things that we all loved books - and MC, for that matter. Yes, that's what we used to call him on the board : MC. They are a bunch of truly amazing and interesting people whom I will never forget.

Also it is pleasing to know that he knew me - at least by my screen name. Just after he released his last novel, NEXT, the good old admin of the board told us that MC talked about us while they were on a plane. He read most of the things we posted, and he knew about most of us by our screen names! I certainly am honored to know that and I am proud about that.



But he isn't there anymore. There will be no more waiting for a new book by MC to come out. All that is gone. I have a hollow feeling wrapping me. Something is lost. It will never be the same again, like there will never be another one like MC...

It is also saddening for me in another way. It was one of my biggest dreams to meet him one day. But now that's a dream that will never come true. Life is not fair sometimes...

But it is of no use to dwell over things we cannot control. Rather, it's best to remember who he was, what he did and enjoy the great works of him. And pass them to the generations to come. I certainly will...

Though he is gone, the legacy he leaves behind will live forever!

Thank you Michael.
May your soul rest in peace.

Memories of a Lifetime...

It's been an hour since I hit the "New Post" button to write this, and still I haven't typed a single word. I'm finding it impossible to collect my thoughts to write this one. So I'm giving up all my attempts to put my thought into a well crafted, well written post. Instead, I'm just gonna let them out and fill this post.

Our cat died yesterday.

To be honest, I knew it all along, I knew it was coming. She was very aged. A little over 18 - yes, you read correct, she was 18. And it had to happen. Still, even though I knew it, the thought that she is no longer there is hard to bear. Because she was very close to me - to us all in fact. Our whole family loved her and treated her with care that we didn't feel she was a pet. She was the heart and soul of our family. She was simply a member of our family...

My mind raise to a day some 18 years ago. Me, mom and bro were sitting on the living room watching TV. Dad, came as usual a bit late, but with a small white ball of fur in one hand which he placed on the sofa and it turned out to be a cute little kitten. Apparently she had barely opened her eyes - maybe a couple of weeks old. She was the most adorable thing I have seen in my life! I fell in love with her that very moment...

Time went by, and we became sort of the best mates there can be. I must have taken her in my arms, groomed and cuddled her countless times. And she loved it as much as I did. She loved falling into sleep on my arms... Among all of us, I was the one she liked the most, no question. I loved that warmth and purring whenever I took her in my arms and groomed her.


This is her, a good 10 or 12 years back. And she looks so crossed
'cos I wanted to pose her for a pic rather than letting her be the
way she wanted. Still I loves this one...

To her credit, she could well be the most 'well-behaved' cat that I ever came across. She would never eat anything - despite however hungry she was - until we gave it to her. Mom would keep the meat in the kitchen for ice to melt and lock the door many a times with her in, yet she never ever once ate it. I cannot explain why, but she never did.

And she used to give my mom so much headache 'cos she always wanted to sleep on my bed. Mom would say it's not good for my health, but I didn't care, and I didn't complain. I loved that warm little ball of fur purring next to me... She used to wait until everyone went to sleep and the lights are turned off, and then sneak onto my bed! And dutifully I kept the secret from mom... :)

And after my A/Ls I stayed in Colombo most of the time, away from home. Came home only for the weekend. Mom says that she would go to my room every night and look if I were there! Whenever dad got angry with her for one thing or another and shouted at her, she would straight away search the refuge in my room. No need to say that I always protected her with my life! Well, not really, but still, you know what I mean...

Then, a day more recently. While trying to eat fish she somehow managed to get a fish bone stuck in her mouth. So we called the vet and he said there is no option but to sedate her and remove it. But he gave her a little too big a dose, and she took a little longer to wake up. And she wasn't well after that, throwing up everywhere. Vet asked us to keep her warm and give her as much water as possible. So I didn't have a single minute of sleep that day - keeping her warm and cleaning up the mess whenever she throwed up... None of us could breath well until she was well again...

But lately, and inevitably the age got to her. Not many cats live 18 years, and I'm happy that she lived all that time a happy life. I'm glad that she didn't have to suffer when she died. She died a peaceful death, and deservedly so... She was one lucky girl!

My only regret is I couldn't be there to see her one last time before she died. But then again, life's not all that fair...

Damn, this post turned out to be a goddamn long one, didn't it? But I feel relieved... Come to think of it, though I am so sad, I think I'm not that upset about it. She had as much a better life as you can imagine. She had the love and care of four people all her life, to the fullest...

At the end of the day, all good things must come to an end, and she is no exception. When I turn back, I can recall all the wonderful moments of her life with a sense of warmth in my heart...

She certainly made my life a better one!

Thanks dear, for all the wonderful times we had...

RIP.