Women, The Two Types

There are two types of women; those who love cricket and those who think cricket is like baseball. Let us call the first type Women Who Love Cricket or WWLC in short henceforth. Similarly the other type would be called Women Who Think Cricket Is Like Baseball, or WWTCILB for our convenience. WWLC are outnumbered by WWTCILB at a ratio of about 1:100,000. This might not seem like very significant so let me throw in some numbers and knock the hard truth into you, and you off the chair. Our good old Paradise Island has a population of 20 million, and let us assume half of them are ladies. So then ten million women and a ratio of 1:100,000 means there are exactly 9,999,900 WWTCILB and 100 WWLC. Now get up from the floor and read on.

None of these 9,999,900 WWTCILB has ever watched a cricket match from start to end. The only times they watch a cricket match even partly are either a) when cricket matches are shown in between their favourite commercials, b) when their ignorant husbands or boyfriends drag them to the grounds or ask them to see cricket by their side in living room or c) when they want to check out James Anderson's arse, after being introduced to his arse by a WWLC or after being introduced to his arse by a WWTCILB who in turn was introduced to his arse by a WWLC, or after being introduced to his arse by a WWTCILB after being introduced to his arse by another WWTCILB who in turn was introduced to his arse by a WWLC and so on. I think you get the drift. If you are a woman, and still don't know who James Anderson is, you are a WWTCILB and might need to contact a WWLC. But I digress. These WWTCILB, just as our chosen name for them suggest, know nothing or very little about cricket. In the case they know very little, most of this little knowledge consist of many other things, such as gossip, but very little cricket. This very little cricket knowledge, however, helps them to deduce if it is a close game and in such a situation they would usually close their eyes with hands and ask their partners to inform them when the game is over, because they can't watch since it is a close game. Doesn't make sense, I know, but such are the mysterious ways of women.

Now let us turn to WWLC. Obviously, they are very hard to come by but in case you happen to come across one, well, pose for a picture with her, ask for the signature and write down even the smallest detail so you wouldn't mess it up when you retell the story to your grand kids. Yes, they are that much rare. Anyway, these women are very strange, but you knew that already. They would choose to watch a game of cricket over Praveena - that was the happening teledrama when I left Sri Lanka some years ago, but chances are it's still going on - or prefer a ticket to a game of cricket over a 24pc box of Ferrero Rocher, or, I know you wouldn't probably believe this but there are some reported cases of WWLC refusing the opportunity to go on a fully paid shopping spree because there happened to be a Test match at that time. Respect, is all I can say.

I've had the good fortune of knowing more than one WWLC, and what's more, I suspect that they are even the extreme cases. One not only talks about cricket 24/7, often she informs me of cricket news, such as the resignation of Sangakkara, before I know the news. Yes. Me. ME! Before I (unfortunately I can not capitalize the letter 'I' to emphasise the significance as I is already capital, so assume it is a bigger I) know the news. How crazy is that. Another WWLC I know visits a cricket forum every day where she is the lone woman, she often argues and even win those arguments, and also she says the first thing she does coming home after work is checking out cricket news on the web. It doesn't get better than that.

Or does it?

There is a WWTCILB I happen to know, and she is the extremist of all WWTCILB hands down. Why, you may ask. Okay, however much cricket noobs WWTCILB are, all of them know some things about cricket like the fact that Sri Lanka won the world cup in 1996. Now I'm not saying this particular WWTCILB doesn't know that, being a Sri Lankan and not knowing we won a cricket world cup would be impossible, but she doesn't know the next thing which you would assume every Sri Lankan would know. Yes, folks, she doesn't know against whom we won the world cup in 1996.

She just takes the cake.