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Monday, July 5, 2010

Retards' English

This new generation's supposedly cool and fashionable English is the most retarded thing since George Bush. The guy with a 'W' in the middle that is. Without further ado, let me jump in straight.
1. Itzzz
Wonder what that is? Well, that is the kool (or even kewl) way of writing it's. The number of Zs may wary depending on the emphasis you want to put in as well as the general level of stupidity of the person writing. Don't ask me where the apostrophe is.

2. Rockzzzzzz
Same as above. Argentina doesn't rock, but rockzzzzzzz according to these people. Them getting ridiculously thrashed by the Nazi boys is a different matter altogether.

3. Nic
When somebody said nic pic on a Facebook comment, I wondered why would someone say 'National Identity Card Picture' on a rather cute picture of a stray dog. Only later I realized it meant nice picture. Will it kill to type the last 'e' and save us the trouble?

4. Niccccccccccccc
This is also a way of writing 'nice'. In other words, retards gone a whole new level further. You can't type just one 'e' but can instead type a whole bunch of Cs. How do you pronounce that even? Oh well.

5. Fineeeeeeeeeee
The retards' way of saying fine. Wonder if the number of Es indicate the level of fineness or the level of retardedness.

6. Brothazzz
Apparently this mean brothers. However I think it suits better for a big fat ugly alien. Or a mountain troll would also fancy that name.

7. Kewl
It ran shivers through my spine the first time I realized that this in fact is a way of saying cool. Enough said.

8. Elaaazzz
This isn't English. It's the retarded way of saying 'ela' which is a Sinhala slang similar in meaning to something like great, brilliant or wonderful. But you feel my pain right?

9. Gr8
Hip way of saying great. So then can I write height as h8?
And finally,
10. Wazzup dawg?
This is more about spoken English. When niggers do the nigger talk it fits. But when a bunch of brown ass wannabes do it with an Asian accent, it's hardly bearable.

Happy Monday all!


  1. And when YOU use the N-word, you are despicable, racist and disgusting. I am ashamed to know that there are fellow Sri Lankans who speak like you. You sound like a wannabe KKK member. A wannabe white-trash brown person, that's what you sound like. I'd take the kewl and Gr8 kids anyday over you. Before you come out with ridiculous arguments, let me say there is NO acceptable, non-racist use of the N-word. None. Unless one is Black. Then they've earned the right to do whatever the hell they want with the word. Otherwise, there is no justifying, explaining, reasoning. Nada. You use it, you are racist. Period. End of story. I am shocked at the way you use it twice, once even directly referring to Black people as the N-word. Could you not have said, Blacks? Of course you could. But you just wanted to use the derogatory word. Sounds like you are a wanna-be white racist. If there's anything more disgusting than a white racist, it is a non-white racist such as you. The kids itzzzz and nic kids are harmless. You are a racist person and sounds like a wanna-be white racist who thinks Brown people are superior to Black people. I would be ashamed to be in the same room with you. What a disgrace you are to all Sri Lankans.

  2. Jeev, OH MY!
    I mean, seriously? You argument of the using the word nigger (yes, I am using it again) is acceptable only if you are black is illogical. If they can use if, so can I. That does not, and I mean it very much, in any way mean that the one using it is a racist. It's the context that matters, sir, not the word. It was perhaps an insulting word back in the day when blacks were oppressed, in those countries. Not in a world where blacks themselves use it to refer to them, when even they think it's kind of kool.

    So, yeah, maybe it is your opinion that I'm a disgrace, but not necessarily everyone's. Oh and by the ease of which YOU form opinions of me whom you know nothing about, on the other hand, is a little disgraceful.

  3. LOL @ Jeeves...! Man, you need to get that butt plug out of your ass, you're so full of shit it's affecting your brain!

  4. Hmmm, I use "Elaaazzz" too sometimes! :D And Kewl always makes me read kiwi for some weird reason. :S

    And lol at this Jeev fellow. :/

  5. @TheKillRomeoProject
    LOL indeed! Or should I say, lolzz?

    Nothing's personal man, just business.

  6. Having many an African American friends, I hear the N word all over, among themselves 99% of the time, if I said the same it will be just like when Jackie Chan uttered in one of the movies.
    I just hate to hear it, even in songs. But then that is me. Then again, I can't even say the four letter word!

  7. @Magerata
    It's all about context isn't it? For instance, while I'm Sinhala I have a few very good Tamil friends to whom I can call "Demalaa" with no problem. Now usually it is considered inappropriate to call that to a Tamil, but we both know that I don't mean it in a bad way so no problem. Similarly, nigger is a bad word only if I intend it in a racist way, not otherwise. Well at least that's what I think.

    For some reason Blogger has eaten your comment. Please send it again if it is no problem. Thanks.

  8. Thats not how you spell niggaz!

  9. I was cringing at all the superfluouys "zzzz"s! Honestly, it really gets on my nerves... Gah! On a tangent, have you ever watched Russel Peters on youtube? (those who are easily offended by racist comments, please don't bother).

  10. Yeah, I have. Actually I have couple of his shows on my hard drive as well. To be honest, some of his stuff lack subtlety and too direct, but some are pure gold. "Somebody gonna get a hurt" is the best.

  11. Kewl posssssst sachhhhh! lol

    A very timely one too. I guess using it for fun among your pals is one thing but using it publicly and as a habit is another. I feel sorry for them, cuz it's mostly teens who use them and they'd never learn proper English this way.