Retards' English

This new generation's supposedly cool and fashionable English is the most retarded thing since George Bush. The guy with a 'W' in the middle that is. Without further ado, let me jump in straight.

1. Itzzz
Wonder what that is? Well, that is the kool (or even kewl) way of writing it's. The number of Zs may wary depending on the emphasis you want to put in as well as the general level of stupidity of the person writing. Don't ask me where the apostrophe is.

2. Rockzzzzzz
Same as above. Argentina doesn't rock, but rockzzzzzzz according to these people. Them getting ridiculously thrashed by the Nazi boys is a different matter altogether.

3. Nic
When somebody said nic pic on a Facebook comment, I wondered why would someone say 'National Identity Card Picture' on a rather cute picture of a stray dog. Only later I realized it meant nice picture. Will it kill to type the last 'e' and save us the trouble?

4. Niccccccccccccc
This is also a way of writing 'nice'. In other words, retards gone a whole new level further. You can't type just one 'e' but can instead type a whole bunch of Cs. How do you pronounce that even? Oh well.

5. Fineeeeeeeeeee
The retards' way of saying fine. Wonder if the number of Es indicate the level of fineness or the level of retardedness.

6. Brothazzz
Apparently this mean brothers. However I think it suits better for a big fat ugly alien. Or a mountain troll would also fancy that name.

7. Kewl
It ran shivers through my spine the first time I realized that this in fact is a way of saying cool. Enough said.

8. Elaaazzz
This isn't English. It's the retarded way of saying 'ela' which is a Sinhala slang similar in meaning to something like great, brilliant or wonderful. But you feel my pain right?

9. Gr8
Hip way of saying great. So then can I write height as h8?

And finally,

10. Wazzup dawg?
This is more about spoken English. When niggers do the nigger talk it fits. But when a bunch of brown ass wannabes do it with an Asian accent, it's hardly bearable.

Happy Monday all!